


only you ever made me dare

by nothingbutniall



Category: WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Fluff, Secret Crush, WTFock Season 1, these two are sweethearts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-10
Packaged: 2020-08-14 11:42:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20191708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingbutniall/pseuds/nothingbutniall
Summary: Zoë has a crush on Jana. It might not be as unrequited as she thinks.





	only you ever made me dare

**Author's Note:**

> A sweet little fic in honour of Antwerp Pride.
> 
> (Title comes from Birdy's Shadow.)

After what feels like possibly the longest two months of her life, Zoë is more than excited to be spending five whole days with her girls.

Despite it being March, there is a chill in the air, but they don’t let it bother them as they jump out of the bus, giddy with excitement. There is nothing adventurous about spending a week in your friend’s family cabin in the Ardennes, though they act like they’ve just hitchhiked to the other side of the world and the amount of luggage they brought for five people is simply outrageous. And they didn’t even let Luca take her mini football table.

Jana unlocks the door, swinging it open to reveal the floor-to-ceiling wood living room, two big sofas in the middle and a breakfast bar with a small kitchen in the far corner. On their right, two doors lead to the bedroom and bathroom, which are both small but functional.

“Dibs on the bed!” Luca shouts as she flings herself on top of it, spreading her limbs out like a starfish. The slats creak dangerously, but they seem to hold up.

Amber joins her, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I get back pain easily, so I’d rather sleep in the bed, too, if that’s okay for you guys.” She says it softly, as if she’d rather not admit it.

Zoë nods. “Of course that’s fine.”

“You’re the guests here, so obviously I’ll take the sofa bed.” Jana leans against the doorframe, hair cascading over one shoulder. Not for the first time, Zoë has the urge to reach out and run her hand through it to see if it’s as soft as it looks.

“I don’t mind sleeping on the sofa, either,” she says, maybe a tad too quickly. She hopes the other girls will just write it off as her and Jana having the closest connection.

There’s a smile on Yasmina’s face that tells Zoë she’s not as subtle as she tries to be, but her friend doesn’t call her out on it. “That’s the sleeping arrangements sorted then. You two in the living room and us three here.”

//

They dump their suitcases and backpacks in the corners of the rooms, not bothering to unpack right now. They want to make the most of the time they’ve got here, and the sun is setting in just over an hour, so they head out on a walk through the forest.

The road they take is scenic, a sandy road winding through the trees, big ferns lining the path. It might actually be one of the nicest forests Zoë has ever been to, but she has no eye for the beauty of her surroundings when Jana is walking ahead, laughing at something Luca said. She’s positively glowing, whole face lit up by a smile that makes her eyes crinkle.

Zoë kicks at a pebble on the path, watching it disappear in the grass. She hates the butterflies she gets when Jana so much as _glances_ at her, hates feeling like she’s betraying her friend’s trust by looking at her in a way real friends don’t. She’s had crushes before, but they were celebrities, girls she’d see on the bus, friends of friends she stumbled across through Instagram. They were never this accessible, never this close to her.

A pang of jealousy shoots through her when Amber links arms with Jana and they start chatting about ways to make Senne realise Amber is the one for him. Jana’s proper into it, giving Amber extensive lists of tips and tricks to seduce a guy. Zoë tries to block it out. She doesn’t want to hear Jana talk about boys. At least not with Amber. Zoë doesn’t mind the boy talk as much if Jana teases her about Senne, because at least it means having her attention, but really, she just wishes they could go back in time to an age where boys were still icky.

Zoë is quite obviously trailing behind now, and Yasmina looks back over her shoulder with a questioning look in her eyes. Zoë smiles at her, just a twitch of her lips.

Yasmina slows her pace until Zoë catches up to her. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Zoë nods, gaze flicking to Jana again before looking at the ground in front of her feet. “Yeah,” she repeats. “Just thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” Yasmina teases. It’s soft, gentle, a subtle coaxing for Zoë to share her inner reflections.

She doesn’t. She knows Yasmina wouldn’t judge, but she doesn’t want to share this, not yet. Right now, she’s in that glorious in-between state where anything is possible. A bit like Schrödinger’s cat. As long as she doesn’t say anything, her happily ever after is both possible and impossible.

//

As peaceful as their walk through the forest was, so brutal is the hail that starts beating down on them just as they reach the beginning of their street. They make a run for it, sprinting towards the safety of the cabin like they’re trying to win the Olympics.

It doesn’t stop them from getting completely soaked, the icy droplets quickly melting against the heat of their skin, hands turning blue and teeth chattering. Jana struggles to open the door, fingers stiff from the cold.

The heat inside hits them like a wall of bricks, the temperature difference shooting fire through their veins almost painfully. They strip off their wet clothes and change into lounge wear, and Zoë tries not to stare at the delicate lace straps crossing over Jana’s back as she slips a shirt over her head.

She turns away, pulling a knit sweater over her own head, and makes a beeline for the kitchen before anyone notices the faint blush on her face. “Hot chocolates for everyone?” she calls out, pulling open cupboards to gather milk, chocolate bars, and a pot. She gets a chorus of yesses and pours the milk into the pot, turning the hob on.

While she’s waiting for the milk to heat up, she breaks the chocolate bars into smaller pieces, the repetitive movement providing a welcome distraction from the thoughts still swirling inside her head. She’s so focused on the task, she doesn’t notice she’s got company until a soft _boo_ is spoken right into her ear.

She spins around, mouth opened in a silent gasp, and is met with Jana’s grinning face.

“Thought I’d come help you.”

Zoë smiles. “Everything under control.”

“Are you sure? The milk’s nearly boiling over.” Jana laughs and moves the pot off the fire, the bubbling milk quickly settling down again.

“Oops.” Zoë ducks her head. “Thank you.”

“No worries.” Jana takes a wooden spoon from one of the drawers and starts stirring as Zoë slowly pours in the pieces of chocolate.

Zoë feels Jana’s warmth next to her, their arms nearly touching, and she has to concentrate not to spill any chocolate beside the pot. They are standing closer than is practical, Jana’s elbow nudging Zoë’s side with every rotation, but neither of them move away. The silence between them feels nice, like a warm blanket shielding them from the outside world.

When the chocolate is fully melted into a thick, gooey chocolate milk, the spell seems to break as Jana steps away, holding the spoon up to Zoë’s face. “Taste test.”

It’s warm and rich in flavour and Zoë nods approvingly, brushing her hair out of her face because Jana is still looking at her and _shit_, the rain and the steam probably made her hair look stupid, didn’t they?

Jana’s lips curl up into a smile. “You’ve got some…” Her hand comes up to Zoë’s face, thumb brushing across her cheek as she wipes of a smudge of chocolate. “There.” Her voice is soft, barely more than a whisper.

Zoë can feel her heart racing in her chest, can feel where the soft pressure of Jana’s hand cupping her cheek sets her nerve endings on fire. She’s almost afraid to breathe, lest it shatter the moment.

Time seems to slow down as Jana’s hand slides from Zoë’s cheek to the back of her neck. There’s a moment where their eyes meet and Zoë swears she can see the universe reflected in those electric baby blues. Her gaze flits down to Jana’s lips, parted ever so slightly, and before fear can overtake her, she or Jana or maybe both of them at the same time close the remaining distance.

Their lips fit together like they were always meant to end up like this. Any coherent thought flew out of Zoë’s head the second their lips touched, and all she can focus on now is how Jana tastes like strawberry and spice, how her lips are so much softer than any boy she’s ever kissed before, how she’s never felt so alive.

There are no fireworks going off in her belly, there is no electricity running through her veins. Kissing Jana feels like sunrays on a hot summer day, a slow, constant heat settling in her bones.

Zoë stores it all away in the mind palace she’s built of Jana over time, all the little details she doesn’t want to forget. She memorises the way Jana’s thumb rests perfectly in the small space behind her ear, how her breath hitches almost unnoticeably when Zoë ever so lightly bites at her bottom lip, how close does not feel nearly close enough.

When they finally break apart, panic flares up in her chest, but one look at Jana muffles the thoughts that were threatening to emerge. She’s still Jana. They’re still friends. Everything is okay.

And Zoë knows they need to talk, but right now, she has no words. She doesn’t know how to tell Jana it’s never felt like this before, how she can’t imagine it will ever feel like this with anyone else. She knows she’s young, knows forever is a statement she doesn’t have any right to make at this moment in time, but _god_, she can’t picture a future that doesn’t feature Jana by her side.

Now is not the time to talk about any of it, their friends blissfully unaware just one room over, but something in Jana’s eyes tells Zoë she might not be the only one feeling like she just jumped off a cliff and ended up among the stars.

She wishes they could stay in their bubble just a little longer, but Jana squeezes her hand before stepping away into the living room, and Zoë takes a deep breath before turning back to the stove to start filling the mugs.

Tonight, when it’s just the two of them, she’ll tell her. And if it’s up to her, every night after that, too.

//

August transforms Antwerp into a rainbow haven. Sometimes it’s loud, like the flags waving on buildings throughout the city, the multi-coloured anything in the windows of the shops, the woman wearing a rainbow jumper with _pride is a protest_ embroidered on it. Sometimes it’s quiet, tucked away like the fairy lights at a café, a pin on a girl’s blouse, mostly covered by her hair, the man wearing rainbow socks that just peek out from under his trousers.

The atmosphere feels different, the air a little lighter, the sun a little brighter. Zoë has fallen in love with Antwerp in every season, but this might be her favourite.

When she kisses Jana by the riverside, rainbow lights reflecting in the water behind them, love surges through her body.

This is them. This is what she dreamt of, but never dared hoped for.

This is her pride.

**Author's Note:**

> these girls are gems
> 
> Comments and kudos mean a lot. You can also find me on Twitter (@nothingbutniall)!


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